Trying to get out the door....

I'm going to be brutally honest on a subject that many parents probably have to deal with every single day. Whether you have 2,3,5 or 6 kids, getting out the door can sometimes be disastrous for all involved.
This morning was one of those times for me. Actually it happens every time we have to head out the door with everyone fully clothed and fed. But this morning, was especially baaaaaaad.
The two big boys had a dentist appointment in Longview at 10:30. I was to have Rhett dropped off at Nonnie's by 9:45. At 8:30, after folding three loads of laundry and putting them away, I decided that an hour and 15 minutes was surely enough time to get us all ready and out the door.  Cora Love was happy and sleeping in her bouncer. I put on a Mickey Mouse episode for Rhett. Perfect time for me to go get dressed; a super quick, casual attire, ponytail and a little makeup THIS time. The morning was going good! I got the big boys' clothes laid out and hollered for them to come get dressed and to brush their teeth 'extra good' because of course the one time you brush right before the dentist will make your teeth perfect, right? While they were brushing Rhett came in their room and climbed up on Will's top bunk and started throwing his pillows. I got him down. Back into my bathroom to finish my makeup...
Minutes later, Rhett comes in behind me with a couple of crayons. Before I can finish my right eye he's colored the cabinet door and rug under my feet. I get on to him and explain that we only color on PAPER. He runs out. I finish my left eye and go out to check on where Rhett has ended up... in Jake's recliner finishing the Mickey episode. I quickly zap some Toaster Streudels in the microwave for Will and Cole. Cora has started her whimper and grunts... she's waking up to eat. As I call the boys over to the bar and give them their plates, of course Rhett starts repeating over and over, "I eat, I eat, I eat..." I turn around and grab another Streudel to fix. Cora is getting louder. I'm getting more anxious. I get Rhett settled in his chair and convince him to wear his bib.
I get a chance to get Cora who's now screaming with the gasp cry babies eventually get to. As I pick her up of course she feels wet. Not just wet, but poop up her back wet, on the bouncer and blanket wet. I take her and put her on the changing table and commence to wiping her down and changing her all the while keeping my cool while knowing the boys are peacefully eating their breakfast. As I'm finishing up changing her I see two boys run by the door. I yell for Will and Cole to brush their teeth AGAIN 'really good' since they just ate. I scoop up newly changed and smelly good Cora and go back into the kitchen.  Rhett is yelling that he was "done." Cora is screaming in my arms because she's hungry. There's still poop all over the bouncer. Thank goodness about this time I hear a knock at the door. I yell, "Who is it?" My neighbor Ashley walks in and says she heard the baby screaming and was coming to get her Picante Sauce back I borrowed so she thought she could 'help.' Perfect. I need to leave in 10 minutes. I hand her the baby and run over and strip the cover off the bouncer and throw it and the blanket in the wash. I run over and wipe Rhett's hands and get him down. I quickly eat the last three pieces on his plate as my breakfast and Ashley laughs while holding yet still a crying Cora. She grabs her Picante Sauce and my help leaves out the door. I go to sit down and nurse Cora.... 5 minutes to leave. I told the boys they could wear their new school shoes we'd just bought since we were just going to the dentist. Cole comes in with his on explaing how they're 'the shiniest shoes' he's ever worn. Rhett is rolling around on his bouncy ball while growling. Will comes in the den visibly distraught over the length of his new shoe strings. We argue a bit then I tell him to go put on his other new shoes. I finish up nursing Cora while Cole asks me to double tie his shoe strings.   I lay Cora on my knee knowing full well she hasn't burped yet. I balance Cole's foot on my hip to tie his shoe and of course CL spits up down my leg. As I wipe up my shorts I tell Cole to go get in the car and to take Rhett... as I throw the little guy his Bucky (blanket). I yell at Will, "What are you doing back there?" (in his room) fully forgetting I told him to go change into his other new shoes. He responds reminding me so I go back there to help him hurry. Cole soon yells (yes, I know it seems there's a lot of yelling going on about this time) from the other end of the house at the car port door that Rhett is running away. "Running where?" I yell back. "Down the street!" he answered. Upon hearing Cole, I dash out the front door out into the yard and frantically look down the road. No Rhett. I yell toward the side of the house to Cole asking if he sees him. "Yes, he's back over here," Cole answers. All of this while holding a hiccuping Cora.  Back into the house I run finding out that Will successfully and more importantly happily has his shoes on his feet. I tell him to go join his brothers in the car as I run around turning off lights, grabbing all 6 of my bags, keys, cup of water and Rhett's flip flops with a still hiccuping Cora in my other arm. Everything in hand I successfully step out the door all the while ignoring my urge to pee.  That can always wait. It is now 9:45. The time I wanted to drop off Rhett at Nonnie's.  Instead he's playing with Jake's weed eater string on the locker benches in the carport and the big boys are in the midst of their 36th argument of the morning. I put Cora in her carseat and place a paci in her still hiccuping mouth. I calmly and lovingly instruct the big boys to buckle up and stop fighting and I pick up Rhett from the weed eater and place him in his seat. Finally its my turn to get in the car and it feels SO good to finally climb up in there knowing I got everything and everyone in.... maybe. I pull out of the driveway still ignoring my urge to pee. It can wait!
We ended up only 5 minutes late to Nonnie's only to realize Rhett's Bucky was left sitting next to the weed eater in the carport.  Cora fell into an angelic sleep in the car, I got to finally use the restroom at the boys' dentist office, and we had NO CAVITIES. Success! Right?
Basically this post was a dive into the true, nothing barred, life of a mom, a parent, anyone who has tried to get out of the house and to somewhere at a specific time with children in tow. It's comical at its least. This is probably why I love "PJ Day" so much. You know the kind of day where you change out of your pjs to take a shower at bedtime only to put on another pair of pjs because you didn't leave the house all day. Awesome. I love those days.
What ever will I do when my kids are grown and out of the house and I only have myself to dress and get out the door? Be on time? Nah, never.