Momma Secrets: The Good and the Bad

Let's just go ahead and put it out there: We all have a secret life when it comes to being a parent. Am I right? Okay. So that's established. We can read books, talk to other parents, google to our heart's desire, but we're all going to do things our way; the BEST way for us and our family.

Now, what about the little things that we do that we never planned. The day we brought our baby home from the hospital the doctor didn't provide us with an instruction booklet (or a warranty for that matter). It's hard, it's fun, it's exhausting and it's a learning experience every day. But as we go through the journey of raising other human beings from completely helpless infants into productive citizens of society, we come up with our own ways of survival.

Here is my list of what I call Momma Secrets. I'm sure Daddos have their own list (that they should probably keep to themselves). Not all of these are what I consider Mother-of-the-Year worthy, but they are what they are. 

 Its our way of showing love, laughter and lessons while not going insane. 

Author's note: several of the secrets are probably not recommended in the ever-selling market of parenting books, but who cares? This is how I do it.

Secret #1:  I could completely do without any holidays. The decorating, parties, costumes, traditions WEAR ME OUT. I loved it before I had kids. After kids, anything extra was a daunting task added onto the ever-growing chore list of parenting.  BUT I do boo-koos of traditions, decorating and costumes and usually with a smile on my face because my kids get excited about it and they love it. Secretly I could let every major holiday craziness pass by without even a mark on the calendar. As my older kids have grown, I've added traditions that also teach them the importance of each holiday. Fun stuff, important lessons; they all have to happen.

Secret #2: I listen to not-so-nice music when I'm riding solo in the car. When my kids are riding with me we usually listen to wholesome Christian music. We do this so much that my kids know every word to almost every current contemporary Christian song on the radio. It makes my heart swell. But when it's just my younger two, especially just my toddler who isn't quite yet repeating everything she hears..... I listen to my 90's on 9 satellite radio. I admit it. I belt out every word to every R&B hit from the 90's that comes on; Whoop There It Is, Snoop Dogg, Jodeci, a few boy bands, you name it. I have no shame. The other day as my daughter and I drove home from a quick grocery trip listening to momma's favorite station, the formerly popular, yet I-can't-believe-I-sang-this-song-as-a-teenager came on; You Down with O.P.P.? As I, of course, sang every word complete with the head cock and attitude, I glanced in my rear view mirror and saw my precious 18 month old. She was shrugging her shoulders to the beat and clapping and shaking her head. This is the first time I second guessed my choice of music. It's still my guilty pleasure when on the road alone. 

Secret #3: I've let go of many of my Type A cleaning habits from my earlier adult years. But the one that I cannot let go of and still do today is cleaning the door frames, knobs and light switches. Just by grabbing a Clorox wipe and wiping down these areas makes my whole house seem cleaner. Kind of like washing your house's hands. Germ free. Kind of.

Shorter list but of no less importance:

•I sometimes eat late night peanut M&Ms and don't brush my teeth out of pure exhaustion at the day's end.

•I tell each of my kids that they're 'my favorite' and then add in their current age '7 year old' for example. 

•My spinach dip is store bought; used to be from-scratch then I went back to work. I tweak the store brand, put it in my own dish and voila! Surprisingly like my old recipe. 

•I like to do handstands at the end of a horribly stressful day. 

•After 68 total months of either breast feeding or being pregnant and 'having to' drink so much water, I have rebelled and refuse to drink it. 

•The 3 second rule of food dropped on the ground has turned into the 'blow on it and its fine' rule. 

•I can go 4-5 days without washing my hair, solely because it shaves off 30 minutes of my morning prep time. 

•I do two large loads of laundry on Wednesday and Saturday and one small load on Sunday. That's it.

•I screen phone calls... All. The. Time. But, I'll immediately answer your text. I can text you while also doing 47 other things AND have crying, screaming kids in the background. It's a mother's gift (Dad's do not attempt). 

•I love and live by post-it notes. 

•I don't clip coupons. No time. But I  NEVER buy full-price. Ever. 

•I usually google the word 'easy' before any recipe I'm searching for. Anything more than 5 ingredients is too many. But I'm a stickler for veggies and meat in every meal. 90% of our meat is our own hunted venison. 

•I plan 2 weeks worth of dinner meals and groceries and only shop twice a month. 

•I only take maybe one hot, soaking bubble bath a year. 

•I don't lock the door when I use the restroom although I complain when kids come in and interrupt me. I don't know why but I feel like the door needs to stay open and available. Daddo does not understand this. 

•My favorite 'momma quote' is what my mom told my brother and I and it's what I tell my kids. 'If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.' It's the quote that really just fixes almost all the problems in our house. 

•I like reading but have only read 4 adult-level books in 9 years. I completely neglect my children, home and husband when I'm in a book. So I just don't.

•I complain about being so busy with my kids' activities, but honestly there's nothing I'd rather do than to watch my kids do what they love. I'll travel hundreds of miles, seven nights a week to see them compete, grow and mature into the person they want to be. I don't care how messy my house gets. 

•I have a twice-a-month cleaning lady ;) Our priorities for our monthly budget are in this order: 1. Groceries  2. Cleaning lady  3. Anything else. 

Guilty pleasures:

•I sing Miley Cyrus songs... With the attitude, as well as Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Rhianna, and M&M. Don't judge. 

•I eat chips n hot sauce for dinner when the hubby's gone
. And I get excited about it. 

•I eat all the twizzlers in my kids' Halloween candy.

•I jog. 

•I scrapbook. 

•I take daytime naps when I'm home with my kids. 

•I am 'Monica' from the sitcom Friends and I get excited when I have the chance to clean and organize. Elated. 

There are other secrets that I'm sure I'm leaving out and several more that my friends know about me and can probably add. But this is how I survive my wonderfully blessed life. It's not about going through the motions and barely making it. We have to take care of ourselves FIRST. Our own emotional state and physical well-being is so important. Then we can better take care of our families. 

My crew chugging some milk. We go through atleast 3 gallons a week. 

Getting in some excercise and fresh air with my littles!

What are your secrets to handling it all? Do you have any guilty pleasures and other ways of taking care of yourself?? I'd love to hear how other moms do it!